Sunday, May 23, 2004
Public - 8:04 PM
So last weekend (15 May 2004) I judged the Lynbrook Novice Speech and Debate Tournament. The very tournament where, 11 years ago, I placed 2nd in Expository Speaking.
Since then, I've placed first in four other league tournaments, placed first in the State Qualifying Tournament twice, and twice biffed during the state championship tournament.
Anyway, I knew I'd want to blog about it, just not a week late. Sorry about that. Not that you can really tell the difference anyway.
What I had done throughout the course of the day was text message myself on my trusty T-mobile-issued Nokia when something blogworthy happened or was said.
1) Leland HS head coach Gay Brasher (yep, that's her real name) had mentioned to the judges-- mostly high school varsity NFLers, or speech and debaters, for those of you not in the know-- "pay attention to the novices! Do not fall asleep during the rounds! I don't care if you were up until 3am last night!"
Now how the hell did she know that I was up until 3am last night drinking and zooing w/the boys?!? Oh, if she only knew. I'm willing to bet that out of everybody in that room (high schoolers and some parents) that I was the *only* one partying jimmy-style just 5 hours earlier...
2) They started describing the various events to the judges. She went over the interps, which was my claim to bellarmine NFL fame back in the day... DI was Dramatic Interpretation, OI was Oratorical Interpretation... easy stuff.
Then they mentioned TI, thematic interpretation. This event was where you took three smaller pieces that were related somehow and delivered them. And while you were speaking, you would hold a binder, presumably with the text/scripts of your pieces.
But in all honesty, no TIer I ever knew *ever* went unmemorized. So I got to thinking, "well what if you put other reading material in your TI binder?? And naturally, the next though was, "shit, you could put porn in your TI binder!!!"
If i were to do it all over again, I'd try TI, but put pictures of Monica Bellucci in my binder.
3) Mrs. Brasher described Expository. These are fun speeches where the topic is expository in nature. It's like a cool report, or sales pitch. Topics I've seen in the past are "Dreams", "Ghosts", "Doughnuts", "Baseball", "Twins", and "Eyeglasses". The more ubiquitous the topic, the better-- "Deodorant and Anti-Perspirant" or "Doors".
You might think that a ten minute speech on deodorant would suck, but see, that's the point. It's gotta not suck. And they don't.
Mrs. Brasher said that visual aids were optional. Which they are. Except at Bellarmine, where a few of us freshmen in 1992 Rhetoric tried to pass by w/o visual aids. Not what Bellarmine does, according to head coach Jim Harville. In class, me and a friend did back-to-back expos speeches without VAs. I did Dreams, he did Ghosts. We followed a speech on Heat-Shrink Wrap with outstanding visuals. Heh.
4) Hot high school varsity debaters. Ooh, there was this one Leland HS skank wearing shorts shorter than my boxers. Damn, those were nice legs. Unfortunately, they were attached to an asian chick. This reminded me of Leland's marie huang, who I'm told i was watching very intently during a DI round when i was a junior... I don't remember this, but it appears that I'm not completely averse to asian women...
5) I was walking back to the judges room after my first round judging, when i ran into my little brother and his friends. (They're freshmen in HS, 11 years younger than me, for reference.) I asked him how his rounds were going, if he needed anything. As I was walking away and as he was going to his next roun, somebody yells, "Hey [last name deleted], where you going?!" I turned around as if to say "WTF?" but they were talking to my brother. Maybe you had to be there. It was kinda surreal.
Since then, I've placed first in four other league tournaments, placed first in the State Qualifying Tournament twice, and twice biffed during the state championship tournament.
Anyway, I knew I'd want to blog about it, just not a week late. Sorry about that. Not that you can really tell the difference anyway.
What I had done throughout the course of the day was text message myself on my trusty T-mobile-issued Nokia when something blogworthy happened or was said.
1) Leland HS head coach Gay Brasher (yep, that's her real name) had mentioned to the judges-- mostly high school varsity NFLers, or speech and debaters, for those of you not in the know-- "pay attention to the novices! Do not fall asleep during the rounds! I don't care if you were up until 3am last night!"
Now how the hell did she know that I was up until 3am last night drinking and zooing w/the boys?!? Oh, if she only knew. I'm willing to bet that out of everybody in that room (high schoolers and some parents) that I was the *only* one partying jimmy-style just 5 hours earlier...
2) They started describing the various events to the judges. She went over the interps, which was my claim to bellarmine NFL fame back in the day... DI was Dramatic Interpretation, OI was Oratorical Interpretation... easy stuff.
Then they mentioned TI, thematic interpretation. This event was where you took three smaller pieces that were related somehow and delivered them. And while you were speaking, you would hold a binder, presumably with the text/scripts of your pieces.
But in all honesty, no TIer I ever knew *ever* went unmemorized. So I got to thinking, "well what if you put other reading material in your TI binder?? And naturally, the next though was, "shit, you could put porn in your TI binder!!!"
If i were to do it all over again, I'd try TI, but put pictures of Monica Bellucci in my binder.
3) Mrs. Brasher described Expository. These are fun speeches where the topic is expository in nature. It's like a cool report, or sales pitch. Topics I've seen in the past are "Dreams", "Ghosts", "Doughnuts", "Baseball", "Twins", and "Eyeglasses". The more ubiquitous the topic, the better-- "Deodorant and Anti-Perspirant" or "Doors".
You might think that a ten minute speech on deodorant would suck, but see, that's the point. It's gotta not suck. And they don't.
Mrs. Brasher said that visual aids were optional. Which they are. Except at Bellarmine, where a few of us freshmen in 1992 Rhetoric tried to pass by w/o visual aids. Not what Bellarmine does, according to head coach Jim Harville. In class, me and a friend did back-to-back expos speeches without VAs. I did Dreams, he did Ghosts. We followed a speech on Heat-Shrink Wrap with outstanding visuals. Heh.
4) Hot high school varsity debaters. Ooh, there was this one Leland HS skank wearing shorts shorter than my boxers. Damn, those were nice legs. Unfortunately, they were attached to an asian chick. This reminded me of Leland's marie huang, who I'm told i was watching very intently during a DI round when i was a junior... I don't remember this, but it appears that I'm not completely averse to asian women...
5) I was walking back to the judges room after my first round judging, when i ran into my little brother and his friends. (They're freshmen in HS, 11 years younger than me, for reference.) I asked him how his rounds were going, if he needed anything. As I was walking away and as he was going to his next roun, somebody yells, "Hey [last name deleted], where you going?!" I turned around as if to say "WTF?" but they were talking to my brother. Maybe you had to be there. It was kinda surreal.
