Tio Jaime: Aleph One

Remember how I thought I had lost the company half-a-million dollars?? it was the Yountville bid. dastardly Yountville.

We didn't win the Seattle bid yesterday, but the dude who did was 16 times worse off than Yountville. He was low by $8 million

Not good, I'm told. You can bankrupt a construction company that way, I'm told.

In any case, I'm suffering some sort of post-partum depression. I miss the Seattle bid. =(

Yeah, OK. Leaking that guy's number was wrong because now his competitor came back $0.75/cy lower.

Shit.

Hmmm, I have the strangest feeling that I've just committed one of the more common unethical violations when it comes to general contracting. Figured I should blog about it.  More to follow.

James, EIT

FUCK

DON'T FUCKING PROMISE ME YOU'LL BID ON MY BUILDINGS AND THEN TELL ME TWO DAYS BEFORE BID DAY THAT YOU'RE NOT SUBMITTING YOUR NUMBER TO US BECAUSE YOU'RE TEAMED UP WITH MY FUCKING COMPETITOR

FUCK, YET ANOTHER SEATTLE FIRM THAT I HAVE TO VOW TO CRUSH

thus far:
1) that engineering firm whose owner's son was stupid enough to tell me about how he was going to move in on my idiot girlfriend once i graduated. fuckin bastard is gonna get a mouthful of loose teeth one of these fucking days
2) retarded project management firm who set me up to fail in seattle
3) now this stupid contractor who dicked with my shit A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO BID DAY

Fuck I've earned a steak. I need a big damn steak for dinner tonight.

Boy oh boy, the drive home is going to be very aggressive, I can just tell... If you're going to be a complete moron on 680 South and 24 West I wholly recommend you stay in the slow lanes, as far away as possible from my Chevy 1500 or I will ruin your shit.

all my love,
James

LIVE FROM BENICIA!!!!
THE LIFE AND TIMES OF JAMES [last name deleted], EIT

Events occur in real time.

I'm talking to a Washingtonian right now. His name is "Whitey."

He's quoting me prices for crushed aggregate base course, and assuring me that their aggregate meets the specifications set forth by the Port of Seattle.

i'm a badass,
James

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

i KNEW if i xanga'ed about the date i'd jinx it

she's feeling sick, wants to postpone until next week

well this is OK, now it means that I can stay a bit later @ work and not rush over to the peninsula.

yeah. that's a waaaay better trade-off than social interaction w/a charming woman who's my age

that's lovely. that's *fucking* lovely. (reference to joke, i'll tell you another time)

OK back to work,
tio j

Damn, i'm good!!!

Since i squirreled away some leftover fritos, I can now have lunch!!

planning on working through my lunchbreak today, as I wanted to leave early today to go out on... *gasp* a date

so i'm here eating my fritos, I just paid my car insurance, am currently xangaing, and i'm about to find a place for tonight...

all my love,
Tio Jaime

Was listening to the Don & Mike Show a while back, some caller told this joke, i'm just now remembering it...

caller: "What's the difference between a woman at church and a woman taking a bath?"
D&M: "..."
caller (very articulately): "One has *hope* in her *soul*--"
D&M: "OK that's enough."

At which point they proceeded to give his phone number out on the air and ask their listeners to call him at odd hours.

I wholly recommend that you check out the Don and Mike Show. And just as reference, the only people that I know who already do are named Kylee and Catrina. You do the math.

"Oh this'll only take a few seconds..." i said to myself. yeah uh huh. damn you, tina kroll, esq

all my love,
james [last name deleted], eit

1. What is your full name: James [middle names, last name deleted], Engineer-in-Training

2. What color pants are you wearing right now? forever in blue jeans

3. What are you listening to right now: sonja the secretary on the phone (tomorrow is secretaries day!!)

4. What are the last 2 digits of your phone number: 52

5. What was the last thing you ate: kit-kat

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be: either Yale Blue or Giants/Construction Orange

7. How is the weather right now: cloudy, yet somehow stuffy and warm

8. Last person you talked to on the phone: Amy from ABH Trucking in Marysville, WA (!)

9. First thing you notice about the opposite sex: eyes & nose

10. Do you like the person who sent this to you: yeah, she's charming and pretty hot... nevermind that she likes the DH

11. How are you today: falling asleep @ my desk

12. Favorite Drink: Dr. Pepper

13. Favorite alcoholic drink: single-malted scotch on the rocks

14. Favorite Sports: baseball

15. Hair Color: black

16. Eye Color: brown

17. Do you wear contacts: never have, never will

18. Siblings: younger sister and waay younger brother

19. Do you have a tattoo? yep, Go Bears!

20. Favorite Month? whichever month mcdonald's decides to have their chicken mcnugget special 6/99cents

22. Favorite Food? mom's meatloaf

23. Last Movie you watched: DVD of Three O'Clock High? not sure exactly

24. Favorite Day of the Year: Vicetivus!!!

25. Are you too shy to ask someone out: depends on who someone is

26. Summer or Winter: Winter, except for teh lack of giants baseball

27. Hugs or Kisses? beggars can't be choosers

28. Chocolate or Vanilla: vanilla

29. Do you want your friends to write back: sure for the most part

30. Who is most likely to respond: Brent

31. Who is least likely to respond: pretty much everybody else

32. Living Arrangements: Lincoln lets me out of the box every couple of weeks or so when i've been a good gimp

33. What books are you reading: crap, nothing!! get off my back already

34. What's on your mouse pad: something i think somebody stole from somewhere else

35. Favorite Board Game: Monopoly!! ain't capitalism grand?

36. What did you do last night: dinner @ Joe's, ate calamari and tortellone and lots of bread and was still hungry (?)

37. Favorite Smells: Candies for Women, Wicked Wahine, my wrist after i've been wearing a watch

37a. Worst Smells: somebody else's bad breath

38. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? not even close

39. What inspires you? success in the face of insurmountable adversity. except the anaheim angels

40. Favorite Flower: Orchids. Whenever I give flowers or corsages, it's always orchids. Unless it's late @ night and all the flower stands in berkeley are closed.

41. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the
morning? Screw this, i can sleep for another 15 minutes!

42. What day is it & what time is it? Tuesday 20 April 2004, 4:03pm

> I saw a great xanga post today, and I'm honoring it
> here:
>
> I want everyone who reads this to ask me 3
> questions, no more no less.
> Ask me anything you want and I will answer.  But
> then I expect you to
> offer the same to other people, including me.
>
> Okay folks, ask me anything... three questions.
>

Here. Do it. If necessary, register on xanga.com so you can. Do it. Do it now!

Back from Las Vegas. Lotsa stories? You bet. Sordid and lurid? Umm, depends on what I decide to let you think...

Coming soon!!!
...James vs. the Lakur fans
...Slots a Fun
...Jimmy-method of handicapping the ponies
...James vs. Mr. Lucky's Fortune Cookie

There's more, but stories need to be collaborated first.

Hello, xanga my old friend.
Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl's nice rear end
Is a vision oh so Haunting.
I'll make her boyfriend load my truck with things
That I purchased at his store. What a moron, gonna manage his Home Depot, they say--
One of these days
Amidst the sounds of Hayward.

On Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturday Nights,
The Hayward waitress, pale and white,
Alone on shift because her club is dead.
And like a puppy crapping on your bed
Her epiphany: our drinks they never came.
Such a shame.
Like the sound of Hayward.

Mad at her you'll try to stay,
She whisks your anger far away
To a place her errors do not show.
Boyfriend works at fucking Home Depot,
Where he drives his forklift to my truck.
"WTF!?!"
Ask the sounds of Hayward.

poke00210: tio jaime
[CENSORED]: my buddy, for whom i am happy because he's excited about some chick. despite their evilness, i don't know where we'd be w/o women. if you're a woman and reading this, please take note... you're all f***ing crazy, but we love you all to death

**********
[CENSORED]: so im meeting [CENSORED] in paris in july
[CENSORED]: haha
[CENSORED]: sounds good
poke00210: [CENSORED], paris, and july are all nice
[CENSORED]: then on to south of france
[CENSORED]: provence
[CENSORED]: and venice and florence
[CENSORED]: and then shes coming here for three weeks
[CENSORED]: im kind of taken aback because these things just dont happen to us bell boys, james
poke00210: well i suppose this means that there's hope for your tio jaime then
[CENSORED]: hope so, man
poke00210: NP i'm a patient jimmy
[CENSORED]: it's pretty good
[CENSORED]: shes like designed to push the right buttons in me
[CENSORED]: it's disgusting
poke00210: LOL
poke00210: yeah, stupid [CENSORED]
**********

doesn't that sound nice? isn't one of the nicest parts of any relationship the chase and the honeymoon period?? if you're lucky, your relationship doesn't deterioriate. but even if it does, the two former are still held in common with successful ones...

i myself am in a drought right now, which is just fine w/me. my thing is, if somebody comes along who i think it would be worthwhile pursuing, sure i'll go ahead and give chase. no skin off my back, and the money you spend on women should be considered male overhead...

Here's to the beautiful babies,
unkajimmy

FUCK YOU KAZUHIRO SASAKI YOU SAVE-BLOWING, GAME-LOSING PIECE OF CLOSER SHIT GO BACK TO JAPAN IN REAL LIFE AND ALSO ON LINCOLN'S XBOX FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK HOW THE HELL DID YOU BLOW THAT GAME

final score from the xbox oakland coliseum 5-4 a's over the m's

Mariners leading the A's at the Oakland Coliseum 3-2 in the bottom of the seventh in Xbox action. real mariners to play the real a's at the really shitty oakland coliseum later today... we're going! i'm wearing my mariners jersey!

i miss Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl =(

she's working tonight, but i'll probably be beating the clock first w/a certain Devon...

Tio J

Bogus! There are no fish and chips places between Benicia and Oakland! WTF, yo?

I prefer the english style fish and chips to the pacific northwest style. The english style is beer battered, whereas in seattle, it's all breadcrumbs. Not as good.

In the bay area, if you want to try Seattle-style fish and chips, head out to Valleyfair Mall, where Seattle institution Ivar's has set up shop.

I seem to be blogging a lot recently about food. Food, and Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl, who, in a frustrating fit of personal responsibility and fidelity, went home after work yesterday to her BF who had made dinner for them.

Perhaps he picked up some Polish Sausages for them from the kiosk outside of his Home Depot.

Hmm, it appears as if you don't need special know-how to extract the tiled .gif on the mlb.com pages. bogus.

Go M's!!!

Have revamped La Casa de Tio Jaime. The background you see is used on www.sfgiants.com, which with a little bit of know-how, I was able to extract for my own, personal use.

Now I need to find an appropriate sound

Tio Jaime

That carnitas quesadilla kinda sucked el burro grande. Shit tasted like it was partly microwaved. WTS, huh?

Tio Jaime

OK i missed the D&M Show because i was watching baseball w/lincoln, then playing baseball on lincoln's xbox

did my federal and state taxes during the game, also two loads of laundry.

there was a dog waiting outside the laundry room, so i was playing w/him for a while, and now my eyes are itchy becasue i rubbed them. shit

Jesus, why do i keep thinking about Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl???

I've come up w/ or popularized quite a few nicknames for other people over the years... some for general use, some for use only with them, some for use behind their backs. See if you can find somebody you know, or even yourself in here. In no particular order...

Bass Drum Ben. Cymbals Ben. Glock Ben. Drummin' Jew. Tiger. Donger. Filipino Brent. Soggy Brent. 'Trose! T-rose. T-rex. T-bone. T-bird. Trosama min Asi. Big T. Big T. Big Time. Itchy Head. Glug-Glug Girl. Old Head. Big Head. 9% Girl. Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl. Lawyer Lady. Bus Lady. Bus Lady Extreme. Lesbian Lawyer Lady. Stinky Bill. Little Ben. Big Ben. Special K. G-Funk. Stinky. Val. Stupid Little Girl. Crazy Girl. Super Karate Monkey Deathcar Crazy Girl. Mr. Fancypants. Crazy Ivan. Gennadi-chick. Green Dress Girl. Mikey Mikey. G-craft. Cap'n Lou. R-craft. Naked Girl. M&M. Keeper of the Mango Love Butter (holy shit, eight years later she actually works for the same company I do!!! her office is 20 feet from mine!) Farmer Ben. Rose Mond. F-rod. Sir Marvin. Darlinghurst Dingo. Wheels. Slammin' Semite. Vander La-An. Pretty Boy. Little Cat. Big Wheel. Adios Mother Fucker. 'Ios! Cymbalin' Semite. Glymbals. Stabby. TCBDCB (The Country's Best Dining Commons Babe). L'il Bear. Little Bear. L'il L'il Bear. Little Little Bear. Big Bear. L'il Bell. Kelly Bear-man. L'il L'il Bear-man. Sergeant Bear-man. Sarge. Keeper. Keeper-Em.

And finally... Rafterman.

All my love,
James, Jimmy, jimmy_j, Dr. Jimmy, Unka Jimmy, Tio Jaime, The Notorious J.A.M.E.S., Jihad Jimmy, G-hawd Jimmy, Giny Jim

I'm not sure how I've managed to avoid these earlier, but they have always been in the back of my mind. Unprecedented, you say? Aha, they are not, sir, as Division II schools are ranked much like how Division I schools are...

Please don't take this personally if you're one of the four people who read this blog and happen to be ranked...

TIO JAIME'S WAITRESS POWER RANKINGS FOR W/E 04 APRIL 2004

1) EMILY
- Veteran favorite still has rookie enthusiasm for taking orders

2) KORI
- Fan favorite instinctively knew that I wouldn't have decided on my drink until after she had brought the first round of drinks over...

3) THE MINDEE!!!!
- Consistently always one of the first Larry's staff (dancer or floorstaff) to greet us upon penetration.

4) TIFFANY
- Very dreamy. Rarely fucks up nowadays.

5) SHAH
- Very keen, was able to learn Usual Drinks before finishing her training day. Want her to spank me. Hard.

6) MARIA
- Charming, in that "What the fuck is your problem, jagoff?" way of speaking. Definitely want her to spank me. Hard.

7) MIRIAM
- Spanking is actually bilateral here.

8) MONICA
- Cute hair and very attentive.

9) DANIELLE
- Nice nose, needs spanking. No, no.. not the nose

10) JULIET
- Glasses, neck and all-around Charm in her favor, but rare sightings will keep her low.

F*** that was a huge omelette. I just wanna curl up and cry right now. I feel sick.

And dammit! I miss Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl!

Just some ramblings from Benicia...

Shit I'm hungry... I wanted that uber-scone from the deli this morning, but she didn't have any =(

Admittedly functioning on 4 hours of sleep. Not sure how I got up this morning, and how i'm magically wide awake right now...

Why so little sleep, James? you ask... Well, let's just say that I think I've found a Coal Mine waitress who can out-Patron a certain Mindee. She killed 5 of them quickly and then got two dances from #1 Devon...

And how the shit did I manage to drive home after one Fernet-Branca @ showgirls and then one Natalie-martini and then BOOYAH four *GOLD CLUB* Fernets??? I think I've regained my tolerance... =)

Oh, and crap-on-your-bed girl... goddam whatta cutie!! And I'm coming to the conclusion that if *my* GF was going out after work under similar circumstances, any other guy would try to undermine the relationship...

...like I was doing. Hmm. Is this bad?

NO BECAUSE ANY GUY WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME TO ME. OR ANY OTHER GUY. IF SOME OF MY SO-CALLED FRIENDS WOULD TOE THIS LINE, THEN YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT A STRANGER WOULD.

Especially if this stranger has a company card to Home Depot, where you happen to be on the management track.

Ooh, low blow. But you know what? Fuck it. I'm sick of being the Nice Guy. This is dangerous, as my status as a Big Guy almost necessitates Nice Guy.

Long and short of it: Crap-on-Your-Bed Girl will be mine. By Any Means Necessary. BAMN!

Ok lunchtime. Decisions, decisions... 1) nap in truck to Don and Mike Show (probably the best idea), 2) quick fast food lunch in truck, short nap, all the while listening to D&M, or 3) no D&M, no nap, grab waffles @ restaurant (looking better and better because damn i'm hungry).

I can probably listen to the Don and Mike Show tonight while i do my taxes. and somehow i've been wide awake all morning, despite the fernets and the drive to and from hayward.

(shit, that still makes me a nice guy since i dropped her off in hayward, huh?)

Ok lunch it is. Hope all is well and that life finds you atop the NL West,
James

E-TOWN REPRESENT!!!

Awww yeah, so I've been calling subcontractors all day in the Seatac area looking for dudes who would like to build four concrete masonry buildings for us. Must've called like 30 of em, and all i got was one definite sub that was interested.

So I tried another search engine, and got two out of four... but more importantly, the one who was already looking at the plans (as opposed to me telling him about it initially) was from Everett, WA!!!

And if you lived in Everett @ one point while working @ boeing, then you'll be extra-tickled soggy to find that they are located right next to Payne Field! booyah, bitch!

That's not as cool as being located next to Honey's on 99, but still cool nonetheless.

Hope opening day finds you ahead of the Angels... Go M's!!!

Unka Jimmy

ps- go frogs! (Everett Aquasox, single-A affiliate of the m's)

Ick. Nasty tasting "veggie stir fry over rice" for lunch that I picked up from the caterer.

Note to Asian chicks who plan on marrying a white dude with Yellow Fever: when you cook rice for your husband, don't cook it all the way, but instead make it crunchy. Apparently white people like that.

Hopefully not. But this rice bowl is really shitty. Thank God I have Cornnuts.

Jimmy

HAPPY OPENING DAY!!!!

i've been waiting for this since october... oh, and before i forget, FUCK ANAHEIM

OK gonna watch the game... (lincoln tivoed it, it's over by now)

tio jaime

I have one textbook from school (go bears) in my bookcase here at work: Engineering Mechanics of Solids for the infamous CE 130. I was bored and flipping through and found this one passage I'd highlighted...

"Thus, the physically attractive definition of the shear strain as the change in angle gamma is not acceptable when the shear strain is a component of a tensor."

That is highlighted and in the margin I've commented "ASSHOLE". For the life of me, I can't recall why, but it's amusing nonetheless.

If you flip through the book, you'll also find where a certain M-word has written me cutesey comments in the margins, apparently when I fell asleep while studying. Sucky-ass girlfriend.

But at least she gave me and the boys baseball. And for that I *don't* want her to rot in hell. As much.