Monday, October 24, 2005

 

so you're saying that dr. ellen is mulatto? & hey, that was a mariners jacket!

Wow, another 3am Criticism sent down from the majors. It's only a matter of time before TAR:Shitty Family Edition makes its TJ:A1 debut...

And for those of you just joining, Grey's Anatomy is grossly inaccurate along racial lines. Three black doctors (herein, blackt0rs) and buttloads of black nurses and orderlies, but no indian doctors, no filipino nurses? Just some Horse-Faced Asian? What a pile of crap.

You wanna live in a world where a ton of blackt0rs isn't a fantasy? Try listening to this guy every once in a while...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
Doubleheader 3am Criticism of Last Week's Grey's Anatomy and Last Night's Grey's Anatomy. Hard to tell which one sucked more...
You are now in chat room "GreysAnatomyCatchUp."
TioJ has entered the chat room.
TioJ (8:57:09 PM): hello dere
TioJ (8:57:37 PM): so with one episode on tape for right now, and then the broadcast of tonight's, we should be caught up...
TioJ (8:57:58 PM): although no telling when this'll get posted, as I was planning on letting other posts stay at the top of the SHoP for now...
TioJ (9:02:13 PM): and i rewound a bit too much and here's where Dawn gets eliminated from martha's apprentice
TioJ (9:02:20 PM): dawn.... the one i want to have sex with
TioJ (9:02:21 PM): ooh yeah
TioJ (9:03:17 PM): here we go
TioJ (9:03:31 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON GREY'S ANATOMY
TioJ (9:03:57 PM): The Emerald City Bar!
TioJ (9:04:05 PM): oh great
TioJ (9:04:18 PM): now they shot the dr. izzie/frat cockt0r wad
TioJ (9:05:24 PM): blackt0r 1
TioJ (9:05:44 PM): blackt0r 1!
TioJ (9:06:00 PM): and since when did frat cockt0r get assigned to blackt0r 1?
TioJ (9:06:55 PM): HFA out and about
TioJ (9:07:13 PM): ooh HFA panties
TioJ (9:07:32 PM): HFA-mom!
TioJ (9:08:15 PM): wow HFA has a big nose
TioJ (9:08:23 PM): even bigger than what jimmy likes
TioJ (9:09:01 PM): WTF, haven't we relaxed the patrick dempsey yet?
TioJ (9:09:40 PM): "stop being an adulterous bitch"
TioJ (9:10:52 PM): yay for shittyopening credits!
TioJ (9:11:09 PM): __________
TioJ (9:11:14 PM): GREY'S ANATOMY
TioJ (9:11:18 PM): __________
TioJ (9:11:56 PM): port of seattle!
TioJ (9:11:59 PM): alaskan way?
TioJ (9:12:03 PM): blakct0r 2
TioJ (9:13:40 PM): just when i thought this show couldn't get any more annoying, they introduce a asian mother
TioJ (9:13:52 PM): dr izzie is retarded
TioJ (9:17:32 PM): black orderly?
TioJ (9:17:58 PM): this is shit
TioJ (9:18:44 PM): like you can find four black people in a hospital like that
TioJ (9:18:50 PM): blackt0r 3
TioJ (9:19:02 PM): and now dr. ellen's mom thinks that george is her intern
TioJ (9:19:51 PM): nice job interns
TioJ (9:20:18 PM): this show sucks
TioJ (9:24:40 PM): blackt0r 1 is talking sass
TioJ (9:24:56 PM): blackt0r 2
TioJ (9:26:24 PM): blah blah blah mcdreamy
TioJ (9:27:19 PM): dr ellen's mom out and about
TioJ (9:28:05 PM): talk to your kid and tell him IT'S NOT OK
TioJ (9:31:44 PM): blackt0r 3
TioJ (9:35:11 PM): blackt0r 2
TioJ (9:35:26 PM): frat cockt0r
TioJ (9:35:47 PM): ha ha "you shot me"
TioJ (9:36:03 PM): gonna get some more milk
TioJ (9:36:16 PM): blah blah bblah more relationship shit
TioJ (9:38:55 PM): stupid black orderly
TioJ (9:39:09 PM): NO YOU DI-IN'T
TioJ (9:39:34 PM): blackt0r 3
TioJ (9:39:37 PM): and blackt0r 2
TioJ (9:40:36 PM): whoa
TioJ (9:40:47 PM): so you're saying that dr. ellen is mulatto?
TioJ (9:43:41 PM): blackt0r 1 is human?
TioJ (9:43:59 PM): so far blackt0r 1 is the only one who doesn't suck in this season
TioJ (9:48:42 PM): fuckin HFA
TioJ (9:48:48 PM): what a shitty episode
TioJ (9:48:51 PM): blackt0r 3
TioJ (9:50:33 PM): wow this is shitty
TioJ (9:50:38 PM): what a stupid ending
TioJ (9:53:43 PM): ooh hi dr. izzie
TioJ (9:53:47 PM): wow nice boobs
TioJ (9:53:50 PM): what a stupid woman
TioJ (9:54:10 PM): she's going out w/the same guy who posted underwear pictures of her all over the hospital
TioJ (9:55:18 PM): and the "next grey's anatomy" looks uber-annoying
TioJ (9:55:34 PM): sucks that we're gonna watch it in a couple of minutes
TioJ (9:58:39 PM):
and WTF is wrong w/marcia cross's neck?
TioJ (9:58:42 PM): damn that's ugly
TioJ (9:58:45 PM): these chicks are old
TioJ (10:01:03 PM):
TioJ (10:01:09 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON GREY'S ANATOMY
TioJ (10:02:15 PM): he treated her like crap the entire night... what a stupid dumbfuck cunt of a woman
TioJ (10:03:21 PM): seriously, this show sucks
TioJ (10:03:30 PM): ooh izzie boobs
TioJ (10:04:38 PM): porn
TioJ (10:05:35 PM): shitty opening credits time!
TioJ (10:05:47 PM): ________________
TioJ (10:05:53 PM): GREY'S ANATOMY
TioJ (10:06:02 PM): ________________
TioJ (10:07:13 PM): BLACKT0R 3
TioJ (10:08:22 PM): yeah she's not gonna be the woman to begs him to want her
TioJ (10:09:05 PM): ooh cute asian
TioJ (10:09:18 PM): ooh HAWT asian
TioJ (10:10:49 PM): yay for white people?
TioJ (10:11:11 PM): blackt0r 2
TioJ (10:12:25 PM): blackt0r 1
TioJ (10:12:33 PM): another black dude
TioJ (10:16:07 PM): oh, TERI BAUER is on CinC?
TioJ (10:16:26 PM): "i hate alex"
TioJ (10:16:29 PM): what a dumb cunt
TioJ (10:16:34 PM): a hot cunt, yes, but very dumb
TioJ (10:17:40 PM): w/o my porn!
TioJ (10:17:52 PM): HFA
TioJ (10:17:57 PM): I NEED MY PORN!
TioJ (10:18:48 PM): wow all three blackt0rsin front of the elevator
TioJ (10:19:23 PM): "white girl cultural divide"
TioJ (10:19:25 PM): went to UW
TioJ (10:22:52 PM): ellen degeneres sounded hot
TioJ (10:25:05 PM): was that monica potter?
TioJ (10:27:24 PM): blackt0r 1 and blackt0r 3
TioJ (10:28:59 PM): "porn actually sedated you"
TioJ (10:29:04 PM): how retarded
TioJ (10:30:06 PM): yeah you suck frat cockt0r
TioJ (10:31:03 PM): heh
TioJ (10:31:09 PM): just don't cut into the lung or heart
TioJ (10:35:09 PM): getting poo shivers
TioJ (10:35:21 PM): i'm going to DUMPCON 2
TioJ (10:40:04 PM): shit i missed it
TioJ (10:40:34 PM): the space needle near the hospital
TioJ (10:50:43 PM): maddison shepherd looks like a man
TioJ (10:51:35 PM): blah blah blah
TioJ (10:51:37 PM): what a shitty show
TioJ (10:51:46 PM): "so pick me. choose me. love me"
TioJ (10:51:51 PM): what a weak-assed woman
TioJ (10:52:36 PM): WTF? Cindy Sheehan comes to the bay area calling for civil disobedience?
TioJ (10:52:40 PM): you dumb cunt
TioJ (10:52:46 PM): you want a fight? you got it
TioJ (10:54:00 PM): only in the Liberal bay area does cindy sheehan still get airtime
TioJ (10:54:15 PM): and fuck us all, your SHoP Overlord Tio Jaime lives in this very bay area
TioJ (10:54:21 PM): so you get to read all about it
TioJ (10:56:03 PM): he didn't even know she was married?
TioJ (10:57:21 PM): OK, we're a couple, whatever, don't make a big deal about it
TioJ (10:57:23 PM): how shitty
TioJ (10:58:12 PM): "Besides, I touched a heart today. Porny."
TioJ (10:58:19 PM): hey, that was a mariners jacket!
TioJ (10:59:08 PM): shitty episode
TioJ (10:59:13 PM): ______________
TioJ (10:59:15 PM): GREY'S ANATOMY
TioJ (10:59:22 PM): ______________
TioJ (10:59:48 PM): wow a "not-to-be-missed" Grey's Anatomy
TioJ (10:59:54 PM): whatever the fuck ever
TioJ has left the chat room.

Was gonna go w/the post title using "Besides, I touched a heart today. Porny." but I liked the Mariners one better...

# Posted by Tio Jaime @ 8:48 AM 1 comments
 

BUTTERFACE! & but the Apprentice? what a pile of shit & well fuck, I'd be embarassed to be Iraqi too

It finally happened. Have relegated these shitty shows to Tio Jaime: Aleph One. Partially because these shows suck, but also because I wanted to keep other SHoP posts up at the top.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

Craptacular Wednes-dee Night 3am Criticism Triple-header: E-Ring, The Apprentice: Martha Stewart, OVER * THERE
You are now in chat room "WednesdeeNightTVSucks."
TioJ has entered the chat room.
TioJ (7:50:37 PM): hello dere
TioJ (7:50:54 PM): gotta poo before E-Ring
TioJ (7:59:30 PM): OK we are now at DUMPCON 5
TioJ (8:00:24 PM):
The security of the Nation depends on the men and women blah blah blah
TioJ (8:01:48 PM): some rapage, two dudes stopped it, reporter lists as two US marines attack 14 year old girl
TioJ (8:01:53 PM): BUTTERFACE!
TioJ (8:02:12 PM): how hard would it have been to choose a non-janky chick to play benjamin bratt's GF?
TioJ (8:03:28 PM): and now the surinamians are pissed
TioJ (8:04:58 PM): E•RING
TioJ (8:08:36 PM): i'm here, just working out in the background
TioJ (8:08:40 PM): so far, this episode seems mediocre
TioJ (8:08:56 PM): heh, one of the marines is from just outside of San Francisco
TioJ (8:18:45 PM): OK dammit one of the strippers called, and so i've missed all of the show thus far
TioJ (8:20:32 PM): oh, and it was this stripper too
TioJ (8:20:35 PM): shit
TioJ (8:22:14 PM): FUCK YOU MR. SIX
TioJ (8:36:33 PM): OK i was waiting for the marine brotherhood to come up... and here it is!
TioJ (8:41:30 PM): hmm, Apprentice or Halo?
TioJ (8:41:49 PM): i'm two episodes in the hole, so i don't know what's happening
TioJ (8:41:55 PM): oh, and nor do I care, btw
TioJ (8:42:12 PM): even in spite of my Martha Stewart fixation
TioJ (8:42:22 PM): and apparently my Alexandra Stewart fixation too
TioJ (8:51:05 PM): "I want those Marines home, and w/o casualties"
TioJ (8:51:29 PM): see, that's what happens when you inject "politician" into "soldier"
TioJ (9:04:54 PM): looks like Martha fired the one chick on the Apprentice with whom I wanted to have The Sex
TioJ (9:05:01 PM): gonna shower
TioJ (9:10:40 PM): wow that's shitty
TioJ (9:10:54 PM): break up the good team, just to accomodate the weak links?
TioJ (9:11:01 PM): that's not very business savvy
TioJ (9:24:32 PM): Ok gonna shower now
TioJ (9:24:33 PM): brb
TioJ (9:26:58 PM): oh Christ... FUCK the "Donald"
TioJ (9:27:47 PM): OK seriously, brb
TioJ (9:28:45 PM): I hate that dumb motherfucker
TioJ (9:30:24 PM): how is that dumbfuck still there? i come back after two episodes and they haven't even managed to get rid of him?
TioJ (9:30:27 PM): what a useless team
TioJ (9:32:47 PM): you stupid asian chick. a real leader would've pulled him
TioJ (9:47:39 PM): OK Tio Jaime's back
TioJ (9:48:03 PM): and i think i finished my shower in time for the Second Shittiest 10 minutes on TV today!
TioJ (9:48:22 PM): the Conference room of Martha's Apprentice
TioJ (9:49:08 PM): the shittiest ten minutes is the Boardroom of the original Apprentice
TioJ (9:51:21 PM): dumbass
TioJ (9:51:26 PM): yeah, piss off the cigar-guy
TioJ (9:51:29 PM): and there's the cigar
TioJ (9:53:40 PM): this is so shitty
TioJ (9:54:12 PM): let the contestants duke it out verbally?
TioJ (9:54:16 PM): how shitty
TioJ (9:54:30 PM): on TAR, the teams eliminate themselves
TioJ (9:54:44 PM): from what i remember of Survivor, they speak into a camera?
TioJ (9:55:45 PM): but the Apprentice? what a pile of shit
TioJ (9:56:11 PM): dumbfuck just STFU
TioJ (10:00:30 PM): fired the asian chick
TioJ (10:00:42 PM): season finale of OVER * THERE?
TioJ (10:00:49 PM): ooh nicky aycox
TioJ (10:03:24 PM): nice job Dimfuck
TioJ (10:05:37 PM): LOL
TioJ (10:05:40 PM): OK that was funny
TioJ (10:05:42 PM): OVER * THERE
TioJ (10:08:42 PM): Romolo!
TioJ (10:15:58 PM): oh the hybrid synergy drive is it?
TioJ (10:16:29 PM): is this the same one that gets an area per gallon?
TioJ (10:16:41 PM): m2pg, right?
TioJ (10:21:45 PM): IT'S NOT OK
TioJ (10:23:12 PM): "that sound like prejudice to you Dim? Am I not being politically correct?"
TioJ (10:23:33 PM): yeah take that Cornell
TioJ (10:24:35 PM): well fuck, I'd be embarassed to be Iraqi too
TioJ (10:24:55 PM): fuck you Dim
TioJ (10:26:04 PM): ooh cute hair on Mrs. B
TioJ (10:28:57 PM): ooh, Prison Break marathon!
TioJ (10:51:26 PM): FUCK YOU TERRORIST
TioJ (10:52:14 PM): whoa romolo
TioJ (10:53:17 PM): oh bogus
TioJ (10:53:32 PM): the hot chick's husband is dead
TioJ (10:53:45 PM): perfect time for a shitty theme song!
TioJ (10:59:05 PM): oh next wednesday is the season finale
TioJ has left the chat room.

# Posted by Tio Jaime @ 8:29 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

 

Quite possibly the stupidest blog-quiz I've taken in Tio Jaime Nation history!

You Are Fall Flowers

Beautiful yet often forgotten.
What Part of Fall Are You?

found at House of Snark

And with that plug, don't let this quiz dissuade you from visiting the Snark, as the rest of her site is top-notch. and she likes The Amazing Race, too...

tio jaime

# Posted by Tio Jaime @ 3:16 PM 0 comments

Thursday, October 06, 2005

 

that's not a real post

Try to do somebody a favor, and he takes a shit on you. I should put up a MIDI as punishment.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith
MwHCock doesn't appreciate the effort his Tio Jaime puts forth to placate his blog-hankerin'
10:20 PM
MwHCock: good night old man
TioJ: hold up dude
MwHCock: Auto-reply: I am away from my computer.
MwHCock: sup?
TioJ: gimme two minutes and you'll hav ea new post
MwHCock: ok
10:30 PM
MwHCock: Auto-reply: I am away from my computer.
TioJ: OK there you go
MwHCock: that's not a real post
TioJ: WTF of course it is
MwHCock: no original content on your part
MwHCock: You didn't even add a snazy paragraph after
MwHCock: with witty criticism or insight
10:35 PM
MwHCock: ok, I am serioulsy gonna sleep now
TioJ: WTF
MwHCock: work in morning
TioJ: OK dude
MwHCock: I'm just giving you a hard time
MwHCock: night man
TioJ: you watching ucla this weekend?
MwHCock: I am heading out to SF for a friend's birthday, so I doubt it
TioJ: i see how it is
MwHCock: we are not favored
TioJ: yeah i saw that
MwHCock: the line is UCLA -1
TioJ: was -2 on monday
MwHCock: ESPN picks us to win
MwHCock: they say our defense is better
MwHCock: but we also just lost a starting tackle for the season
MwHCock: so we'll see how the run game goes
MwHCock: ok, go bears
MwHCock: night
TioJ: go bears
TioJ: see ya

# Posted by Tio Jaime @ 10:38 PM 0 comments
 

will you go to prom with me?

You gotta give the people person what they he want(s).

chatting with MwHCock on a fine Thurs-dee night
9:30 PM
TioJ: i just met The Flood
MwHCock: the flood suck ass
TioJ: it was Ok until the big flood dudes started following me
TioJ: and then they started jumping from floor to floor
MwHCock: and blowing up
TioJ: no, they haven't done that yet
10:00 PM
MwHCock: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/videos/gotoprom.html
MwHCock: that poor chick probably didn't think that would get posted all over
10:05 PM
MwHCock: http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=17556
TioJ: old news man... you gotta pay closer attention to the right-wing blogosphere
10:10 PM
MwHCock: so....
MwHCock: will you go to prom with me?
TioJ: is that a real song?
MwHCock: i never heard it before
MwHCock: your other blog need updating
10:15 PM
TioJ: I FUCKING POSTED TEN TIMES IN ONE DAY ON THE SHOP
MwHCock: but you ignore your own blog
TioJ: nobody reads that one
MwHCock: i do
TioJ: you shouldn't
MwHCock: but i do

And how do you argue w/that logic?

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

# Posted by Tio Jaime @ 10:19 PM 0 comments

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