Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Public - 11:53 AM
Not sure how I should take this one, but when in doubt, say thank you and feel flattered.
Thank you, Makiko =)
Tio Jaime
--- Makiko Sato wrote:
> Jimmy,
>
> Everyday I read this advice column on Salon. It's
> kind of interesting sometimes. For some reason, this
> column reminded me of you.
>
> Enjoy!
>
>
> My boss makes me sniff her rotten food ... and it
> kinda turns me on!
> Is she being flirtatious or just toying with me?
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - -
> By Cary Tennis
>
> Aug. 25, 2004 | Dear Cary,
>
> I'm a 32-year-old single guy, and my boss at work is
> kinda weird. Sometimes I think she is pure devilish,
> and other times I really want to have sex with her.
>
> She does things like bring in to my office a
> four-day-old Tupperware container of her lunch,
> saying, "Smell this for me -- tell me if it smells
> rotten or what." I think to myself, Smell your own
> damn food! This is like total harassment, forcing me
> to smell it.
>
> On another occasion she had a birthday cake and tea
> party in the afternoon for one of my co-workers but
> she failed to invite me. When I passed the area and
> joined in, she said in front of everybody, "Oh, I
> didn't even think to tell you about this because I
> figured you would be too busy with the rollout."
> (I'm
> doing a Mac OS X rollout company-wide.)
>
> She really gets on my nerves and I usually think she
> is evil and the devil incarnate. But then I find
> myself strangely attracted to her. I sometimes
> masturbate at night thinking of her. I find myself
> fantasizing what it would be like to have sex with
> her. And yes, I've even fantasized about raping her
> or
> her raping me.
>
> What's going on here? Why do I hate her but then
> want
> to be with her?
>
>
> Dreaming of Unemployment
>
> Dear Dreaming,
>
> I think what's going on here is an example of the
> connection between sex and power. She is flirting with
> you but also trying to dominate you, using her
> attractiveness and her position of power. She is doing
> it probably because it makes her feel both powerful
> and alluring; she may have noticed the way you look at
> her with a mixture of fear and desire.
>
> She may be actually drawn to you or she may simply be
> toying with you. In trying to figure out which it is,
> I would consider your status in the company, your
> salary, your height compared to hers, your general
> physical attractiveness, and your history with women.
> Do women often flirt with you? Or do they tend to
> ignore you? I know this sounds rather cold, but
> patterns tend to repeat themselves. In group dynamics
> involving sex and power, others will quickly peg you,
> so it helps to know how you are perceived.
>
> The "sniff my food" incident sounds like flirtation,
> but it depends how it occurred. Did you notice, when
> she asked you to sniff her food, if you had to bend
> over to sniff it, or did she hold it out to you at
> nose level? How close to her did she hold it, or was
> it on her desk? Did your head have to come close to
> her breasts in order to sniff her food? Did she
> perhaps incline her head downward so that her hair
> came into your face? These would be flirtatious
> gestures. On the other hand, if it was across the room
> and she directed you to sniff it, that would be more
> an act of domination. Such an act, too, could have
> sexual overtones, but of a more dominatrix type.
> Perhaps these impulses are all mixed up in her, as
> they often are in young ambitious people; she may
> alternate between wanting to dominate you and wanting
> to flirt with you so that you will show her some
> attention.
>
> The bottom line is that these are not neutral
> interactions; they are charged with psychosexual
> implications, and that is why you find yourself with
> these surprising and perhaps disturbing fantasies. She
> is challenging you, no question about it.
>
> The tricky part is what to do about it. I, being
> conservative in matters regarding employment, and
> being aware of how defenseless some young men are in
> the hands of powerful and alluring women, would
> probably steer clear of her. But if you should have
> drinks in the office one Friday afternoon when
> everyone else has gone home, you might just find that
> she wants to have a private meeting with you in her
> office and that she's cleared everything off her
> desk.
Thank you, Makiko =)
Tio Jaime
--- Makiko Sato
> Jimmy,
>
> Everyday I read this advice column on Salon. It's
> kind of interesting sometimes. For some reason, this
> column reminded me of you.
>
> Enjoy!
>
>
> My boss makes me sniff her rotten food ... and it
> kinda turns me on!
> Is she being flirtatious or just toying with me?
>
> - - - - - - - - - - - -
> By Cary Tennis
>
> Aug. 25, 2004 | Dear Cary,
>
> I'm a 32-year-old single guy, and my boss at work is
> kinda weird. Sometimes I think she is pure devilish,
> and other times I really want to have sex with her.
>
> She does things like bring in to my office a
> four-day-old Tupperware container of her lunch,
> saying, "Smell this for me -- tell me if it smells
> rotten or what." I think to myself, Smell your own
> damn food! This is like total harassment, forcing me
> to smell it.
>
> On another occasion she had a birthday cake and tea
> party in the afternoon for one of my co-workers but
> she failed to invite me. When I passed the area and
> joined in, she said in front of everybody, "Oh, I
> didn't even think to tell you about this because I
> figured you would be too busy with the rollout."
> (I'm
> doing a Mac OS X rollout company-wide.)
>
> She really gets on my nerves and I usually think she
> is evil and the devil incarnate. But then I find
> myself strangely attracted to her. I sometimes
> masturbate at night thinking of her. I find myself
> fantasizing what it would be like to have sex with
> her. And yes, I've even fantasized about raping her
> or
> her raping me.
>
> What's going on here? Why do I hate her but then
> want
> to be with her?
>
>
> Dreaming of Unemployment
>
> Dear Dreaming,
>
> I think what's going on here is an example of the
> connection between sex and power. She is flirting with
> you but also trying to dominate you, using her
> attractiveness and her position of power. She is doing
> it probably because it makes her feel both powerful
> and alluring; she may have noticed the way you look at
> her with a mixture of fear and desire.
>
> She may be actually drawn to you or she may simply be
> toying with you. In trying to figure out which it is,
> I would consider your status in the company, your
> salary, your height compared to hers, your general
> physical attractiveness, and your history with women.
> Do women often flirt with you? Or do they tend to
> ignore you? I know this sounds rather cold, but
> patterns tend to repeat themselves. In group dynamics
> involving sex and power, others will quickly peg you,
> so it helps to know how you are perceived.
>
> The "sniff my food" incident sounds like flirtation,
> but it depends how it occurred. Did you notice, when
> she asked you to sniff her food, if you had to bend
> over to sniff it, or did she hold it out to you at
> nose level? How close to her did she hold it, or was
> it on her desk? Did your head have to come close to
> her breasts in order to sniff her food? Did she
> perhaps incline her head downward so that her hair
> came into your face? These would be flirtatious
> gestures. On the other hand, if it was across the room
> and she directed you to sniff it, that would be more
> an act of domination. Such an act, too, could have
> sexual overtones, but of a more dominatrix type.
> Perhaps these impulses are all mixed up in her, as
> they often are in young ambitious people; she may
> alternate between wanting to dominate you and wanting
> to flirt with you so that you will show her some
> attention.
>
> The bottom line is that these are not neutral
> interactions; they are charged with psychosexual
> implications, and that is why you find yourself with
> these surprising and perhaps disturbing fantasies. She
> is challenging you, no question about it.
>
> The tricky part is what to do about it. I, being
> conservative in matters regarding employment, and
> being aware of how defenseless some young men are in
> the hands of powerful and alluring women, would
> probably steer clear of her. But if you should have
> drinks in the office one Friday afternoon when
> everyone else has gone home, you might just find that
> she wants to have a private meeting with you in her
> office and that she's cleared everything off her
> desk.
