Tio Jaime: Aleph One

A gem of a find from my good buddy Rafterman! And if he’s reading this, I know that you don’t like that name. Wait until I find something better for you…

The link Rafterman e-mailed to me is the first link in the blockquote caption. Enjoy!

fans of Bill Paxton's Coconut Pete songs from Club Dread!

10:20 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yo Rafterman: check your email!!! Rafterman: now!!! JihadJimmyMWCCDF: NP JihadJimmyMWCCDF: did i eff kiemanh's # up? Rafterman: three words Rafterman: pina Rafterman: colada Rafterman: berg JihadJimmyMWCCDF: 917 555 5555 (i changed the number, you animals. duh.) JihadJimmyMWCCDF: no JihadJimmyMWCCDF: No JihadJimmyMWCCDF: NO Rafterman: oh yeah Rafterman: check your email JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OH YEAH JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OH HOLY JESUS 10:25 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: that's rad! Rafterman: hells yeah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: suh-weet-ah JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh bill paxton is rad! Rafterman: i was having a margarita, so I looked for margaritaville on itunes Rafterman: but then I thought, pinacoladaberg is sooooo much better JihadJimmyMWCCDF: Are you ready to go back to Titanic? Rafterman: and found my way to his website JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh this song is the best! Rafterman: sooooooo good JihadJimmyMWCCDF: weird science links too JihadJimmyMWCCDF: is this his page, or a fan page? Rafterman: he page Rafterman: his page Rafterman: official bill paxton page JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you are a badass. JihadJimmyMWCCDF: thank you for this musical bounty JihadJimmyMWCCDF: you've made the blog 10:30 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: "i'm too drunk to sing this song!" Rafterman: haha Rafterman: I shouldn't have smoked that bong JihadJimmyMWCCDF: what a fucking dope-assed song! Rafterman: yeah Rafterman: these aren't on the club dread soundtrack JihadJimmyMWCCDF: hey did i get kiemanh's number right? i tried it, but says the system's busy all night Rafterman: so everyone was giving the soundtrack one star on amazon, because it didn't have this song JihadJimmyMWCCDF: yeah, why the fuck wouldn't you put this on the soundtrack? Rafterman: or these songs, rather JihadJimmyMWCCDF: tards Rafterman: but then one guy said you could get them from his website Rafterman: bam JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nice job dude 10:35 PM Rafterman: that's the number I have JihadJimmyMWCCDF: hmm JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK Rafterman: it might be old JihadJimmyMWCCDF: eh Rafterman: you have his email? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: lemme see JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh that's all i have, apparently JihadJimmyMWCCDF: naughty cal! i remember this song from teh movie JihadJimmyMWCCDF: underwater bordello

In hindsight, I should've used SpacemanSpiff. Eh. Next time, hopefully i'll remember

Jihad Jimmy, Mininster of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

I'd tell you to go to the Blogspot Province, but shit, you're already here. Enjoy. If any exist, comments are to be found on the old Xanga Province archives. Click on the post titles to be led to the corresponding Xanga Province page in a separate window.

hope all is well,
Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

2:20 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: oh you'll like my montage JihadJimmyMWCCDF: fuck xanga, i'm finally gone, but not before my disembarking "fuck you" 2:45 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=TioJaime&tab=weblogs&uid=291125392 Tinkleflower: hahah Tinkleflower: cool JihadJimmyMWCCDF: i just wanted a couple of fall of saigon pics JihadJimmyMWCCDF: kinda got out of hand Tinkleflower: i like the slut Tom Cruise bitch at the end JihadJimmyMWCCDF: hey calm down there JihadJimmyMWCCDF: they're not married anymore Tinkleflower: i know, i know JihadJimmyMWCCDF: and how can i get the sniper to align to the center of her cell? 2:50 AM Tinkleflower: dunno. Tinkleflower: I've had problems centering images in the blogs.

chatting w/MwHCock on tuesday, didn't post it until now. don't worry, you won't even notice the difference...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

chatting w/MwHCock

11:51 AM MwHCock: it's been 2 days MwHCock: no SHoP update JihadJimmyMWCCDF: working on one righ tnow MwHCock: what is your other blog's address? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: tjalephone.blogspot.com 11:55 AM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: SHoP updated 12:05 PM MwHCock: i commented JihadJimmyMWCCDF: shit, did you get it 12:10 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: nice job man JihadJimmyMWCCDF: shit, the show sounds good streamed MwHCock: yeah MwHCock: are you recording it? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: no JihadJimmyMWCCDF: how can i do that? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: do i need some special hardware? MwHCock: no audio jijack JihadJimmyMWCCDF: like a radio shark or somethin? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: wow, this is better quality than the archives i have right now MwHCock: http://www.rogueamoeba.com/audiohijack/ MwHCock: it is good quality JihadJimmyMWCCDF: wow i can set up a timer too? MwHCock: yeah MwHCock: i use it to record a bbc show JihadJimmyMWCCDF: ooh, and only $16? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: what kind of audio is this? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: will it be able to do it if you tell is just a random firefox stream? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: OK dude, gotta go JihadJimmyMWCCDF: happy D&M-ing MwHCock: iyou can record from firefox MwHCock: where you going? JihadJimmyMWCCDF: lunch w/my dad MwHCock: ok MwHCock: later 12:15 PM JihadJimmyMWCCDF: see ya

3am Criticism of 24, Season 2, 12am - 1am

You are now in chat room “aimsucksbutt.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (8:44:03 PM): hello dere! TioJaime858 (8:44:12 PM): OK gonna watch the next episode of 24 season 2 TioJaime858 (8:44:17 PM): and 3am Criticize it TioJaime858 (8:44:41 PM): for the new blog TioJaime858 (8:44:48 PM): lemme get it set up TioJaime858 (8:44:57 PM): and i'll be eating through the episode, so it may be sparse TioJaime858 (8:45:07 PM): but first lemme find the next episode in sequence TioJaime858 (8:45:48 PM): OK we're due for 12am! TioJaime858 (8:47:09 PM): and from what i remember, jack just hit tony after jimmy predicted that the seventh commando was the shooter TioJaime858 (8:48:03 PM): OK let's see what the DVD menus want to spoil for me... TioJaime858 (8:48:23 PM): OK accidentally clicked on the 2am episode TioJaime858 (8:48:27 PM): jack gets captured TioJaime858 (8:48:33 PM): and is about to be tortured TioJaime858 (8:48:36 PM): FUCK YOU, DVD TioJaime858 (8:48:56 PM): 12am DVD menu has jack holding somebody @ gunpoint TioJaime858 (8:49:02 PM): not that that is a stretch TioJaime858 (8:49:07 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON 24 TioJaime858 (8:49:11 PM): MICHELLE DESSLER! TioJaime858 (8:49:16 PM): ANN-CHICK! TioJaime858 (8:49:23 PM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER TioJaime858 (8:49:41 PM): KIM BAUER! TioJaime858 (8:49:57 PM): stupid girl TioJaime858 (8:49:59 PM): JACK BAUER TioJaime858 (8:50:10 PM): ok the dude wants *kate* warner TioJaime858 (8:50:25 PM): did he break tony's ankle too? TioJaime858 (8:50:34 PM): THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 12:00 AM AND 1:00 AM TioJaime858 (8:50:54 PM): "do you trust me?" TioJaime858 (8:51:17 PM): how did tony break his ankle? TioJaime858 (8:51:35 PM): uh oh, security is letting jack through TioJaime858 (8:51:38 PM): or are they? TioJaime858 (8:51:51 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (8:51:54 PM): jack on the run TioJaime858 (8:52:28 PM): yeah tell the chick that she's Bait TioJaime858 (8:52:36 PM): and what would he want w/the terrorist-sister? TioJaime858 (8:52:44 PM): and not terrorist-chick herself? TioJaime858 (8:53:01 PM): "i'm not going to lie to you. this is very very dangerous" TioJaime858 (8:53:24 PM): yeah, and flying a cessna w/a NUCLEAR BOMB wasn't? TioJaime858 (8:53:29 PM): sorry, "nu-cular" TioJaime858 (8:54:04 PM): ooh ann-chick's not-as-hot nemesis ratting ann-chick out TioJaime858 (8:54:11 PM): president and ensign ro in LA TioJaime858 (8:54:58 PM): oh it's the vice president TioJaime858 (8:55:24 PM): "possibility we may not go through w/the attack" TioJaime858 (8:55:34 PM): ooh yeah cypress recording might be fake TioJaime858 (8:56:02 PM): "too late for second thoughts" TioJaime858 (8:56:04 PM): well duh, no shit TioJaime858 (8:56:40 PM): so you lauched bombers, NP. just don't give them the go for weapons TioJaime858 (8:56:46 PM): oh it's krazy kim! TioJaime858 (8:57:21 PM): you crazy mexidude! TioJaime858 (8:57:39 PM): he just had a pregnant wife, give him a break dude! TioJaime858 (8:57:55 PM): you crazy mexidude TioJaime858 (8:57:59 PM): "please don't die!" TioJaime858 (8:58:19 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (8:58:33 PM): so can't jack just tell tony that somebody told him the tape was a ake? TioJaime858 (8:58:36 PM): ooh, they're being followed TioJaime858 (8:58:44 PM): is it ann chick? TioJaime858 (8:59:09 PM): oh it's the foreign dude TioJaime858 (8:59:39 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (8:59:46 PM): listen to the sneaky foreigner TioJaime858 (8:59:57 PM): he wants to help you TioJaime858 (9:00:06 PM): ooh hi ann-chick boobs TioJaime858 (9:00:13 PM): gonna get some milk TioJaime858 (9:02:27 PM): OK ann-chick lied to tony and said she didn't draw away the dude TioJaime858 (9:02:40 PM): and also that ann-nemesis wants to step to her shit TioJaime858 (9:02:48 PM): and i missed the timestamp TioJaime858 (9:03:18 PM): putting the mexi-wife on the phone TioJaime858 (9:03:26 PM): no! TioJaime858 (9:03:42 PM): ramon! mi hijo! TioJaime858 (9:04:22 PM): oh yay, they're going to monterrey! TioJaime858 (9:04:31 PM): and then he'll let go of KIM BAUER TioJaime858 (9:05:09 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (9:05:17 PM): jack bauer going all jack bauer on somebody TioJaime858 (9:05:32 PM): what was the point of bringing kate if you're just gonna leave her in the car? TioJaime858 (9:06:18 PM): OK so jack got the drop on this dude? TioJaime858 (9:07:03 PM): jonathan wallace, captain TioJaime858 (9:07:12 PM): la la la TioJaime858 (9:07:16 PM): he's the missing commando TioJaime858 (9:07:22 PM): "you're the seventh man" TioJaime858 (9:07:31 PM): "i was responsible for two things" TioJaime858 (9:07:44 PM): making sure the bomb went off, planting the cypress recording TioJaime858 (9:08:01 PM): and it's big oil TioJaime858 (9:08:22 PM): he's about to do something w/electricity.... TioJaime858 (9:08:26 PM): electricity TioJaime858 (9:08:34 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (9:08:40 PM): and the sign signalled somebody TioJaime858 (9:08:47 PM): uh oh TioJaime858 (9:08:51 PM): that's not good TioJaime858 (9:09:01 PM): OK and now they have kate warner TioJaime858 (9:09:18 PM): and the foreigner knocked the dude out TioJaime858 (9:09:47 PM): so really, who cares when he was signalled TioJaime858 (9:10:30 PM): and it's something about the warner's company? TioJaime858 (9:11:12 PM): and now they're bringing kate in TioJaime858 (9:11:23 PM): 12:26:46 TioJaime858 (9:11:29 PM): 12:31:06 TioJaime858 (9:11:41 PM): oh wow, it's District TioJaime858 (9:12:38 PM): and now chief-of-staff jack wants to talk to jack behind PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER's back TioJaime858 (9:13:00 PM): OK chief-of-staff mike TioJaime858 (9:13:04 PM): not mike TioJaime858 (9:14:16 PM): i don't like the ann-nemesis TioJaime858 (9:14:24 PM): ooh hi ann-chick TioJaime858 (9:14:38 PM): i would like to make out w/her in front of the actual ann TioJaime858 (9:14:42 PM): and then vice versa TioJaime858 (9:15:44 PM): oh my ann-chick needs a jimmy-spanking TioJaime858 (9:15:56 PM): and i think i'm just the jimmy to provide her w/said spanking TioJaime858 (9:16:45 PM): yeah kim, it's your fault! "you pointed this gun at me" TioJaime858 (9:16:56 PM): "you ruined my life. it's all your fault" TioJaime858 (9:17:22 PM): OK play the dead-dad card TioJaime858 (9:17:35 PM): nice job kim TioJaime858 (9:17:43 PM): and for once, no, it wasn't your fault TioJaime858 (9:18:42 PM): yeah nice job you're able to escape before trying to escape TioJaime858 (9:18:57 PM): OK now you're fucked, mexidude TioJaime858 (9:19:11 PM): torture him! TioJaime858 (9:19:25 PM): nice job foreign dude! TioJaime858 (9:19:47 PM): he's gonna approach in a sweep pattern TioJaime858 (9:19:50 PM): well hello mr. fancypants TioJaime858 (9:20:08 PM): 12:39:50 TioJaime858 (9:20:14 PM): 12:44:14 TioJaime858 (9:20:31 PM): i don't like ann-nemesis-cunt TioJaime858 (9:20:50 PM): i would much rather engage ann-chick herself in heavy petting TioJaime858 (9:21:30 PM): ooh yeah heavy petting TioJaime858 (9:21:50 PM): ooh and now it's time for some office-CTUin TioJaime858 (9:22:15 PM): you sneaky bitch-momma TioJaime858 (9:24:06 PM): soldier dude gonna take kate, eventually gonna tell jack where the evidence is TioJaime858 (9:24:52 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (9:25:10 PM): umm, what did he say in the car? TioJaime858 (9:25:24 PM): 12:49:17 TioJaime858 (9:25:28 PM): 12:53:41 TioJaime858 (9:25:52 PM): yeah good thing you're keeping kim so close to the standoff TioJaime858 (9:26:00 PM): who's this guy? TioJaime858 (9:26:00 PM): it's Danny! TioJaime858 (9:26:23 PM): ooh yeah the kids TioJaime858 (9:26:38 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (9:26:46 PM): she's listening to the line and she was just called a bitch TioJaime858 (9:26:52 PM): h aha TioJaime858 (9:26:57 PM): ha ha TioJaime858 (9:27:31 PM): just do it mexidude TioJaime858 (9:27:48 PM): loco ramon! TioJaime858 (9:28:04 PM): STFU kim TioJaime858 (9:28:15 PM): whoops TioJaime858 (9:28:30 PM): is mexidude mexidead? TioJaime858 (9:28:45 PM): and it's the veep again TioJaime858 (9:29:30 PM): well, wouldn't you wanna call this off if at all possible? TioJaime858 (9:30:40 PM): OK this is where they're losign me TioJaime858 (9:30:49 PM): how is not bombing somebody a disaster? TioJaime858 (9:31:25 PM): ooh yeah get in the trunk kate TioJaime858 (9:31:42 PM): ann-chick! TioJaime858 (9:31:48 PM): mexidead!Q TioJaime858 (9:32:09 PM): ooh yeah they're tracking kate TioJaime858 (9:32:17 PM): and now they're shooting TioJaime858 (9:32:24 PM): 1:00:00 TioJaime858 (9:32:32 PM): OK this was the stupidest episode this season TioJaime858 (9:32:41 PM): we discovered nothing new, learned nothing important TioJaime858 (9:32:59 PM): this is what's known as the Terri Gets Amnesia Episode TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

these 30 minute episodes make for really short 3amCs, especially when the randomness prevents coherent thought oh my part...

jihad jimmy

3am Criticism of The Family Guy, "Road to Rhode Island"

You are now in chat room “aimfelchesgoats.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (3:06:05 PM): hello dere TioJaime858 (3:06:08 PM): i'm @ home in san jose TioJaime858 (3:06:27 PM): gonna watch some Family Guy w/my little brother TioJaime858 (3:06:36 PM): "Road to Rhode Island" TioJaime858 (3:06:55 PM): wow our TV is shitty TioJaime858 (3:07:05 PM): "somewhere near austin Texas TioJaime858 (3:07:06 PM): " TioJaime858 (3:07:38 PM): it's a puppy farm in texas TioJaime858 (3:08:18 PM): i like the alcoholic dog TioJaime858 (3:09:36 PM): i also like the willing suspension of disbelief TioJaime858 (3:11:00 PM): "not just Jugs or Cremesicle" TioJaime858 (3:11:15 PM): "and an inner ear infection" TioJaime858 (3:13:23 PM): heh, they worked in a snuff film TioJaime858 (3:14:37 PM): "that's it mr. giraffe, lick off all the marmalade" TioJaime858 (3:16:13 PM): heh, do you really want to hurt me TioJaime858 (3:16:27 PM): they're playing six degrees of kevin bacon TioJaime858 (3:16:41 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (3:17:07 PM): "you suck!" TioJaime858 (3:18:15 PM): yay for wacky incest TioJaime858 (3:20:11 PM): "I was the one who could talk" TioJaime858 (3:20:26 PM): "i bet you lost your virginity to a mechanical bull" TioJaime858 (3:24:17 PM): that was cool how brian's head turned slowly towards stewie TioJaime858 (3:25:04 PM): and now they've broken into song TioJaime858 (3:25:46 PM): like a masochist in newport TioJaime858 (3:27:48 PM): "is it kitty?" TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

One more before I go to bed...

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

3am criticism of 24 season 2, 11pm - 12am
ooh baby the bomb just went off

You are now in chat room “BiteMeAIM.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (12:16:49 AM): hello dere TioJaime858 (12:17:07 AM): and WTF, i can have Bite Me AiM as a chat room name, but not 24seas211pm? TioJaime858 (12:17:12 AM): dumbfucks TioJaime858 (12:17:28 AM): here we go TioJaime858 (12:17:36 AM): PREVIOUSLY ON 24 TioJaime858 (12:17:45 AM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER TioJaime858 (12:18:04 AM): TONY ALMEIDA TioJaime858 (12:18:14 AM): that's the first time i've seen tony on the opening sequence TioJaime858 (12:18:24 AM): i hope i've been spelling it right so far TioJaime858 (12:18:27 AM): KIM BAUER TioJaime858 (12:18:37 AM): ! TioJaime858 (12:18:40 AM): JACK BAUER! TioJaime858 (12:18:56 AM): did george mason say "parachute" last episode?" TioJaime858 (12:19:15 AM): THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 11:00 PM AND 12:00 AM TioJaime858 (12:19:29 AM): wow nice graphic of the mushroom cloud TioJaime858 (12:19:48 AM): why would there be a shadow from the mushroom cloud? TioJaime858 (12:20:20 AM): it's pronounced nu-cular! TioJaime858 (12:20:34 AM): well OK then! TioJaime858 (12:20:38 AM): pep talk over! TioJaime858 (12:20:40 AM): no more bomb! TioJaime858 (12:20:51 AM): and yet we're still here TioJaime858 (12:20:57 AM): i'm still 3am Criticizing TioJaime858 (12:21:00 AM): and you're still reading TioJaime858 (12:21:18 AM): and kim's still crying TioJaime858 (12:21:24 AM): which is a nice respite from her fucking shit up TioJaime858 (12:21:34 AM): jack flaring again! TioJaime858 (12:21:53 AM): CTU chopper! TioJaime858 (12:22:00 AM): "whose chopper is this?" TioJaime858 (12:23:19 AM): nice job CTU TioJaime858 (12:23:40 AM): dude, the foreign national is standing right there TioJaime858 (12:24:55 AM): ha ha terrorist bitch-ass TioJaime858 (12:25:07 AM): andnow ann-chick is interrogating you TioJaime858 (12:25:08 AM): ha ha TioJaime858 (12:25:27 AM): eh, just torture the fucker TioJaime858 (12:25:38 AM): ooh yeah guantanamo TioJaime858 (12:25:57 AM): hmm TioJaime858 (12:26:08 AM): sayed ali is denying the meeting took place TioJaime858 (12:26:30 AM): ooh hi ann-chick TioJaime858 (12:26:35 AM): i wanna lick her face TioJaime858 (12:26:55 AM): and now it's getting stickier TioJaime858 (12:27:21 AM): ooh yeah audio analysizing TioJaime858 (12:28:07 AM): black dude says there's no doubt that the recording is authentic TioJaime858 (12:28:15 AM): ann-chick in the meeting TioJaime858 (12:29:04 AM): ooh TioJaime858 (12:29:13 AM): "your experience as an interrogator is limited" TioJaime858 (12:29:47 AM): meanwhile, aboard Air Force One... TioJaime858 (12:30:03 AM): get over it, president dude TioJaime858 (12:30:14 AM): oh! it wasn't bauer TioJaime858 (12:31:03 AM): and the president getting the report confirming the Cypress recordings TioJaime858 (12:31:16 AM): yeah no shit you don't have the option of not responding TioJaime858 (12:31:41 AM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (12:31:49 AM): emergency session of congress 11:14:07 TioJaime858 (12:31:53 AM): 11:18:18 TioJaime858 (12:32:03 AM): during which he'll ask for a formal declaration of war TioJaime858 (12:32:06 AM): ooh ann chick TioJaime858 (12:32:22 AM): bitch-fest? TioJaime858 (12:33:13 AM): 8-10 weeks for full-scale invasion TioJaime858 (12:33:17 AM): rolling start TioJaime858 (12:33:18 AM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (12:33:32 AM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (12:33:38 AM): surgical strikes starting in 6 hours TioJaime858 (12:34:04 AM): deputy prime minister calling for the president TioJaime858 (12:34:14 AM): oh just invade his shit TioJaime858 (12:35:16 AM): deputy prime minister trying to blow smoke up the POTUS's ass... la la la TioJaime858 (12:35:22 AM): "please don't bomb our shit" TioJaime858 (12:35:37 AM): "you'll hear from us soon" TioJaime858 (12:35:43 AM): oh yes motherfuckers TioJaime858 (12:35:49 AM): they're transferring sayed ali TioJaime858 (12:35:55 AM): and here's where teh shit gets fucked up TioJaime858 (12:36:05 AM): oh yeah, still pissed about your son? TioJaime858 (12:36:22 AM): San Jose Sheriff's dept! TioJaime858 (12:36:38 AM): didn't know we had a sheriff TioJaime858 (12:36:44 AM): since it's Santa Clara County TioJaime858 (12:36:52 AM): jack leaving CTU... TioJaime858 (12:36:59 AM): or is he? TioJaime858 (12:37:03 AM): making a phone call first TioJaime858 (12:37:26 AM): WTF? TioJaime858 (12:37:31 AM): not sure what's happening... TioJaime858 (12:37:38 AM): ann-chick looking kinda suspicious TioJaime858 (12:38:02 AM): ann-chick voicing concerns about recording TioJaime858 (12:38:04 AM): ooh hi boobs TioJaime858 (12:38:20 AM): boobs! TioJaime858 (12:38:31 AM): i wanna make out w/ann-chick TioJaime858 (12:38:35 AM): and ann herself TioJaime858 (12:39:05 AM): yeah eff you terrorist TioJaime858 (12:39:45 AM): should've killed his kids anyway TioJaime858 (12:39:46 AM): oops TioJaime858 (12:39:52 AM): sayed ali was shot TioJaime858 (12:40:08 AM): 11:26:57 TioJaime858 (12:40:13 AM): 11:31:09 TioJaime858 (12:40:32 AM): hmm, this complicates things TioJaime858 (12:40:53 AM): now jack thinks ali was telling the truth TioJaime858 (12:41:52 AM): ooh tony getting pissy TioJaime858 (12:42:13 AM): see, there's a reason this show isn't called The Tony Almeida Show TioJaime858 (12:42:16 AM): it's because jack is right TioJaime858 (12:42:22 AM): this should be good TioJaime858 (12:42:25 AM): yeah stupid kim TioJaime858 (12:42:29 AM): the store's closed TioJaime858 (12:42:42 AM): you still have your gun? TioJaime858 (12:42:56 AM): WTF? TioJaime858 (12:43:00 AM): kim you tard TioJaime858 (12:43:18 AM): you stupid tard of a chick TioJaime858 (12:43:23 AM): he's gonna get shot TioJaime858 (12:43:56 AM): 10-30k american casualties TioJaime858 (12:44:22 AM): phone call for the president TioJaime858 (12:44:25 AM): it's jack bauer TioJaime858 (12:44:40 AM): but it's important enough to interrupt TioJaime858 (12:45:43 AM): yeah sayed ali was assassinated TioJaime858 (12:45:57 AM): blah blah blah don't wanna take military action based on erroneous information TioJaime858 (12:46:06 AM): ha ha jab at bush ha ha TioJaime858 (12:46:11 AM): 11:37:16 TioJaime858 (12:46:15 AM): 11:41:28 TioJaime858 (12:46:33 AM): "This is Dessler" TioJaime858 (12:47:07 AM): Usef Auda TioJaime858 (12:47:11 AM): not usef audi TioJaime858 (12:47:18 AM): ooh kate warner! TioJaime858 (12:47:30 AM): ooh yeah momma TioJaime858 (12:47:34 AM): "it's a long story" TioJaime858 (12:48:05 AM): agent gooker is gonna debrief her TioJaime858 (12:48:13 AM): meanwhile, aboard Air Force One... TioJaime858 (12:49:09 AM): "telephone conversation w/jack bauer keeps replaying in my head" TioJaime858 (12:49:19 AM): liability-licious TioJaime858 (12:49:29 AM): oh stop speaking so presidential TioJaime858 (12:49:36 AM): "everyone except jack bauer" TioJaime858 (12:49:44 AM): yeah that sounds very leader-riffic TioJaime858 (12:50:11 AM): was mike cry8ing? TioJaime858 (12:50:25 AM): crying TioJaime858 (12:50:31 AM): there was a tear moving down his left cheek TioJaime858 (12:50:57 AM): yeah fuck you foreigner TioJaime858 (12:51:52 AM): hey, maybe the prevention of your arab country getting all blow'd up is worth something TioJaime858 (12:52:10 AM): somebody planted evidence to frame ali TioJaime858 (12:52:20 AM): and he's talking to jack TioJaime858 (12:52:30 AM): meridian and moorpark! TioJaime858 (12:52:40 AM): this dude wants marie warner TioJaime858 (12:52:55 AM): and oh yes, it was the missing commando! TioJaime858 (12:52:57 AM): damn i'm good TioJaime858 (12:52:59 AM): 11:48 TioJaime858 (12:53:00 AM): something TioJaime858 (12:53:02 AM): 11:52:30 TioJaime858 (12:53:11 AM): ooh kim yeah TioJaime858 (12:53:25 AM): Touch it. TioJaime858 (12:53:36 AM): uh oh TioJaime858 (12:53:54 AM): you dumbfuck TioJaime858 (12:54:10 AM): ooh yeah get some guns TioJaime858 (12:54:15 AM): oh he's just calling the cops TioJaime858 (12:54:27 AM): Soledad Canyon road off route 14! TioJaime858 (12:54:31 AM): oh he's gonna die TioJaime858 (12:54:48 AM): uh oh TioJaime858 (12:55:01 AM): oh this isn't gonna end well TioJaime858 (12:55:05 AM): NO DON'T GET YOUR GUN YOU TARD TioJaime858 (12:55:27 AM): OH JUST SHOOT HIM TioJaime858 (12:55:59 AM): and now he's getting bread TioJaime858 (12:56:04 AM): kinda like that aerosmith video TioJaime858 (12:56:13 AM): should've shot him TioJaime858 (12:56:23 AM): "you're gonna have to trust me" TioJaime858 (12:56:26 AM): ooh ann-chick TioJaime858 (12:56:42 AM): WTF is he paying for it? TioJaime858 (12:56:52 AM): yeah you're not a criminal TioJaime858 (12:56:54 AM): you tard TioJaime858 (12:57:16 AM): Palmdale! TioJaime858 (12:57:22 AM): oh shit TioJaime858 (12:57:26 AM): Ok we're fucked TioJaime858 (12:57:33 AM): i mean *you're* fucked TioJaime858 (12:57:39 AM): oh crazy mesxidude TioJaime858 (12:57:41 AM): oops TioJaime858 (12:57:56 AM): stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid kim TioJaime858 (12:57:59 AM): STUPID KIM TioJaime858 (12:58:03 AM): dammit TioJaime858 (12:58:11 AM): ooh ann-chick TioJaime858 (12:58:19 AM): need you some humpage, perhaps? TioJaime858 (12:58:56 AM): wait, did the dude want kate or marie warner? TioJaime858 (12:59:00 AM): maybe it was kate TioJaime858 (12:59:09 AM): ooh janky mulatto chick TioJaime858 (12:59:11 AM): mulatta TioJaime858 (12:59:40 AM): thought kim was being held hostage TioJaime858 (12:59:56 AM): ooh tony TioJaime858 (1:00:02 AM): i mean, whoa tony TioJaime858 (1:00:30 AM): another instance of jack not being able to tell anybody anything TioJaime858 (1:00:34 AM): and now he just hit tony TioJaime858 (1:00:36 AM): 12:00:00 TioJaime858 (1:00:43 AM): fucking sweet! TioJaime858 (1:01:15 AM): yeahnice visual effects, Fuzzy Logic TioJaime858 (1:02:00 AM): only 8 more episodes to go? maybe 7 TioJaime858 (1:02:02 AM): but it's late TioJaime858 (1:02:06 AM): OK goodnight kids TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

So, we meet again...

Didn't put this on the SHoP, as this was happening long before I was invited to the blog. But if you're here from the SHoP, welcome! No shame in plugging my director's cut of jimmy on the high-traffic blog...

enjoy, there's buttloads more where this came from. and take a look around, see the archives grow right before your eyes w/o having to visit the xanga province.

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith

ps- keeping this short because the 24 DVD menu screen is playing in the background and it keeps playing the 24 theme song over and over. that got annoying fast.

24, season two, 10pm-11pm

You are now in chat room “mangina.” TioJaime858 has entered the chat room. TioJaime858 (11:06:25 PM): EFF YOU AIM TioJaime858 (11:06:26 PM): TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH TioJaime858 (11:06:45 PM): HOW HARD IS IT TO HAVE A CHAT ROOM NAMED "24seas211pm"? TioJaime858 (11:06:49 PM): assholes TioJaime858 (11:06:54 PM): so hello dere TioJaime858 (11:09:23 PM): and we're still waiting TioJaime858 (11:09:32 PM): because i jsut have to set up iTunes to update Sookie TioJaime858 (11:09:44 PM): who apparently has twice as much D&M as I would have liked TioJaime858 (11:11:25 PM): OK so now i'm copying the 144 D&M clips from Emily to Sookie TioJaime858 (11:11:39 PM): but let's get retarded it started TioJaime858 (11:11:51 PM): and by it, i mean 3am Criticism of 24, Season Two! TioJaime858 (11:11:55 PM): i left off about a year ago TioJaime858 (11:12:06 PM): when my roommate moved away and took his copy of 24 TioJaime858 (11:12:19 PM): my parents recently bought me seasons 2 and 3 on DVD for my b-day TioJaime858 (11:12:36 PM): i also reserve the right to insert links above TioJaime858 (11:12:37 PM): OK TioJaime858 (11:12:42 PM): hopefully i remembered how to do this TioJaime858 (11:13:01 PM): but lucky for us, i was reading my 3amC's when I was watching the DVDs again TioJaime858 (11:13:05 PM): so let's get to work! TioJaime858 (11:13:46 PM): and still haven't really decided where to put this TioJaime858 (11:13:54 PM): will probably just put this on TJ:A1 TioJaime858 (11:14:00 PM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER! TioJaime858 (11:14:10 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (11:14:12 PM): wrong episode TioJaime858 (11:14:31 PM): whoa, it wasn't 11pm that was next TioJaime858 (11:14:35 PM): it was 10pm TioJaime858 (11:14:37 PM): and SHIT TioJaime858 (11:14:51 PM): SPOILERS IN THE DVD MENUS AGAIN YOU ASSHOLES TioJaime858 (11:14:56 PM): i saw a mushroom cloud TioJaime858 (11:17:05 PM): OK here we go TioJaime858 (11:17:06 PM): again TioJaime858 (11:17:07 PM): 24 TioJaime858 (11:17:12 PM): PREVIOUSLY ON 24 TioJaime858 (11:17:17 PM): GEORGE MASON TioJaime858 (11:17:18 PM): ! TioJaime858 (11:17:25 PM): stepping down TioJaime858 (11:17:28 PM): KIM BAUER! TioJaime858 (11:17:47 PM): PRESIDENT DAVID PALMER!!! TioJaime858 (11:17:56 PM): nosferatu-bitch! TioJaime858 (11:18:04 PM): MARIE WARNER!!! TioJaime858 (11:18:06 PM): oops TioJaime858 (11:18:17 PM): JACK BAUER!!! TioJaime858 (11:18:21 PM): yeah bitches! TioJaime858 (11:18:31 PM): ooh, look it's a bomb TioJaime858 (11:18:43 PM): THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE BETWEEN 10:00PM AND 11:00PM TioJaime858 (11:18:51 PM): working on the bomb in hangar 12 TioJaime858 (11:19:06 PM): bomb dudes! TioJaime858 (11:19:15 PM): ooh reiko aylseworth TioJaime858 (11:19:19 PM): i believe that's ann-chick TioJaime858 (11:19:55 PM): this episode's gonna suck if it's 50 mins of watching the bomb squad TioJaime858 (11:20:04 PM): George Mason! TioJaime858 (11:20:11 PM): thought he stepped down TioJaime858 (11:20:36 PM): nice job closure-dude! TioJaime858 (11:20:49 PM): hmm TioJaime858 (11:20:55 PM): bomb dudes panicking? TioJaime858 (11:21:03 PM): "is there a problem?" TioJaime858 (11:21:23 PM): no way to disarm this bomb! TioJaime858 (11:21:55 PM): they're gonna fly the bomb out, ooh yeah! TioJaime858 (11:22:10 PM): how much time? TioJaime858 (11:22:12 PM): 55 minutes! TioJaime858 (11:22:20 PM): i wonder if there'll be a next episode?!? TioJaime858 (11:22:24 PM): 10:05:18 TioJaime858 (11:22:28 PM): and kim is on teh highway! TioJaime858 (11:22:35 PM): and luckily there's a car coming TioJaime858 (11:22:45 PM): or two motorcycles TioJaime858 (11:23:02 PM): and an el camino! TioJaime858 (11:23:08 PM): that stands for The Camino... TioJaime858 (11:23:15 PM): trying to get to San Jose! TioJaime858 (11:23:22 PM): "santa clara, actually!" TioJaime858 (11:23:24 PM): whoa TioJaime858 (11:23:36 PM): that's just trippy TioJaime858 (11:23:40 PM): oops TioJaime858 (11:23:49 PM): ooh nice move chick TioJaime858 (11:24:01 PM): that sucks TioJaime858 (11:24:12 PM): got your shit shot out because he was trying to be nice TioJaime858 (11:24:18 PM): or rapalicious TioJaime858 (11:25:09 PM): president is tinkering w/ideas TioJaime858 (11:25:18 PM): could fly it into the ocean TioJaime858 (11:25:45 PM): blah blah blah environmental impact TioJaime858 (11:26:12 PM): BFD, get the fucking bomb out of LA TioJaime858 (11:26:36 PM): again, BFD isolated hikers and campers TioJaime858 (11:26:43 PM): WTF, fall out over las vegas? TioJaime858 (11:26:46 PM): eff that! TioJaime858 (11:27:15 PM): umm, what about fallout from the desert? TioJaime858 (11:27:47 PM): ooh, it's a suicide mission! TioJaime858 (11:28:01 PM): yeah president palmer TioJaime858 (11:28:04 PM): so you lose a dude TioJaime858 (11:28:06 PM): BFD TioJaime858 (11:28:36 PM): a few volunteers for the pilot TioJaime858 (11:28:49 PM): oohyeah family take-carage! TioJaime858 (11:29:11 PM): ooh yeah TioJaime858 (11:29:25 PM): oh yeah maybe george mason is a bad idea TioJaime858 (11:29:42 PM): load this bomb, we are a go! TioJaime858 (11:29:49 PM): that's right motherfuckers! TioJaime858 (11:29:52 PM): 10:12:51 TioJaime858 (11:30:00 PM): 10:17:05 TioJaime858 (11:30:14 PM): tony almeida! TioJaime858 (11:30:24 PM): new dude? TioJaime858 (11:30:27 PM): usef audi? TioJaime858 (11:30:41 PM): not sur ewho he is TioJaime858 (11:30:44 PM): because i was busy blogging TioJaime858 (11:31:00 PM): lemme rewind TioJaime858 (11:31:24 PM): ann-chick! TioJaime858 (11:31:27 PM): tony almeida! TioJaime858 (11:31:56 PM): some government liason who helped CTU into sayed ali's safehouse TioJaime858 (11:32:25 PM): ann-chick TioJaime858 (11:32:27 PM): yeah momma TioJaime858 (11:33:06 PM): you stupid C.U.N.T. TioJaime858 (11:33:08 PM): just do your job TioJaime858 (11:33:29 PM): an encrypted hard drive! TioJaime858 (11:33:40 PM): loading the bomb, dude! TioJaime858 (11:33:46 PM): haven't found Kim yet TioJaime858 (11:34:13 PM): shit man TioJaime858 (11:34:32 PM): there's gotta be a second or two to find otu of somebody else would rather fly the bomb-plane TioJaime858 (11:34:39 PM): hi kim TioJaime858 (11:34:41 PM): dumbass TioJaime858 (11:34:48 PM): oh it's anothercar TioJaime858 (11:35:24 PM): ooh hi jeep chick 4usf627 TioJaime858 (11:35:26 PM): CA plates TioJaime858 (11:35:36 PM): ooh yeah momma TioJaime858 (11:35:45 PM): heh TioJaime858 (11:35:54 PM): yeah get this chick to take you to san jose TioJaime858 (11:36:10 PM): OK kim, just STFU RIGHT NOW TioJaime858 (11:36:12 PM): jesus TioJaime858 (11:36:43 PM): if I was president, i'd fly the bomb far, far away from Las Vegas TioJaime858 (11:37:26 PM): ooh yeah goodbye terrorist-sister TioJaime858 (11:38:28 PM): 10:24:31 TioJaime858 (11:38:33 PM): 10:28:45 TioJaime858 (11:38:47 PM): oh it's a statement for tomorrow morning TioJaime858 (11:39:10 PM): what about the seventh commando? TioJaime858 (11:39:26 PM): did we ever find out what happened to that dude? TioJaime858 (11:39:34 PM): president wants to fly to LA TioJaime858 (11:39:47 PM): his staff doesn't want him to TioJaime858 (11:40:22 PM): jack bauer dude! TioJaime858 (11:40:45 PM): so maybe you're gonna have air force 1 intercept jack bauer in mid-air? TioJaime858 (11:40:50 PM): not that there's enough time TioJaime858 (11:41:06 PM): maybe they should give him a fighter escort or something? TioJaime858 (11:41:33 PM): kim w/the hopefully-rapist chick TioJaime858 (11:41:39 PM): "i'm in a plane" TioJaime858 (11:42:26 PM): nice job kim TioJaime858 (11:42:33 PM): see what you did this time? TioJaime858 (11:42:44 PM): yeah just get to san jose you dumbfuck TioJaime858 (11:43:02 PM): yes you have been so mean and so bad BECAUSE YOU'RE A DUMBFUCK TioJaime858 (11:43:06 PM): now take your shirt off TioJaime858 (11:43:21 PM): is this chick gonna molest kim soon? TioJaime858 (11:44:39 PM): Ok how's kim gonna fuck this up now? TioJaime858 (11:44:42 PM): 10:35:07 TioJaime858 (11:44:50 PM): 10:39:25 TioJaime858 (11:45:16 PM): jeep-chick letting kim go TioJaime858 (11:45:27 PM): oh hi ann-chick TioJaime858 (11:45:46 PM): decrypted the hard drive! TioJaime858 (11:46:01 PM): recording of conversation between terrorist-dude and some government officials TioJaime858 (11:46:25 PM): three countries knew about bomb, bought it for exploda-muslim dude TioJaime858 (11:46:30 PM): ooh yeah ann-chick TioJaime858 (11:46:55 PM): they didn't ask tony for an authorization code or anything? TioJaime858 (11:47:36 PM): confirmation w/in the hour of terrorist dudes TioJaime858 (11:48:02 PM): OK shouldn't a president ask what three countries were the ones? TioJaime858 (11:48:34 PM): i like how the Air Force One magazines are in the protectors like in doctor's offices TioJaime858 (11:48:42 PM): waah waah waah, gotta bomb muslims TioJaime858 (11:48:51 PM): and now you're quoting lincoln TioJaime858 (11:49:15 PM): cessna time! TioJaime858 (11:49:42 PM): WTF? TioJaime858 (11:49:51 PM): sounds in the cessna TioJaime858 (11:49:56 PM): LOL TioJaime858 (11:50:01 PM): it's george mason TioJaime858 (11:50:14 PM): you crazy guy TioJaime858 (11:50:44 PM): you crazy crazy crazy george mason TioJaime858 (11:50:53 PM): that's the funniest thing i've seen on 24! TioJaime858 (11:51:29 PM): george mason didn't have to hide until the final approach TioJaime858 (11:51:40 PM): he could've popped out after they took off TioJaime858 (11:51:43 PM): "supplies!" TioJaime858 (11:52:14 PM): not like jack would've turned the plane around TioJaime858 (11:53:00 PM): that sucks TioJaime858 (11:53:04 PM): poor george mason TioJaime858 (11:53:07 PM): i liked that guy TioJaime858 (11:53:17 PM): in real life he's married to nina meyers TioJaime858 (11:53:20 PM): 10:48:10 TioJaime858 (11:53:25 PM): 10:52:22 TioJaime858 (11:53:37 PM): yeah jack dude TioJaime858 (11:53:53 PM): will four minutes be enough? TioJaime858 (11:54:07 PM): "i'm bailing out, and george is taking the plane down" TioJaime858 (11:54:15 PM): that's cool TioJaime858 (11:54:24 PM): "mason got on board-- don't ask me how" TioJaime858 (11:54:52 PM): hey fuck you foreigner TioJaime858 (11:55:00 PM): "we americans what? TioJaime858 (11:55:02 PM): dick TioJaime858 (11:55:13 PM): ooh ensign ro on Air Force One TioJaime858 (11:56:01 PM): oh yes Second Wave had the backing of three governments TioJaime858 (11:56:18 PM): what a tard of a president TioJaime858 (11:56:41 PM): oh yes invasion-licious TioJaime858 (11:56:45 PM): yeah yeah yeah TioJaime858 (11:56:58 PM): lazy-ass democrud president TioJaime858 (11:57:10 PM): ooh yeah WW III w/ensign ro TioJaime858 (11:57:18 PM): do the dew, george-dude! TioJaime858 (11:57:47 PM): that's probalby because his son doesn't fuck shit up like kim TioJaime858 (11:58:11 PM): george, you're a bad-ass, dude TioJaime858 (11:58:30 PM): that wouldsuck if jack pulled the bomb out w/him TioJaime858 (11:58:32 PM): d'oh TioJaime858 (11:58:51 PM): do the dew george TioJaime858 (11:59:19 PM): oh shit yeah i wanna take a look! TioJaime858 (11:59:40 PM): george-man! TioJaime858 (12:00:13 AM): aww yeah jack w/the flare-action! TioJaime858 (12:00:50 AM): ooh shit yeah TioJaime858 (12:01:01 AM): yeah bad idea to watch the explosion TioJaime858 (12:01:11 AM): holy shit TioJaime858 (12:01:35 AM): mushroom cloud-suppers! TioJaime858 (12:01:40 AM): 11:00:00 TioJaime858 (12:02:13 AM): well, this can be the first new post on Tio Jaime: Aleph One TioJaime858 has left the chat room.

Eff you xanga! I got your "518 days since i joined xanga" right here! And eff you and your "that's a big number" too.

We're moving to blogspot. Eventually.

Tio Jaime Nation is moving the archive to the Blogspot Province. Check out the archive as it's being converted by hand, oh-so-diligently, at it's new home: http://tjalephone.blogspot.com

Related post here at the SHoP.

And by the time the Blogspot Province catches up to this post, hopefully it'll be fully functional too. Eh. Whatevs.

And for those of you who are completely new and obviously clueless, check out the SixHertz House of Pain where I've been contributing quite regularly. At least more regularly than any of the other contributors. Not that it's hard. I practically have to get uber-pissed at SixH to get him to post on his own blog.enough for now.  i've given you quite a few links that should keep you busy for a while

Jihad Jimmy, Minister of War Crimes and Chief Defender of the Faith